You may have watched the movie “When Harry Met Sally,” and heard Harry say that women and men can’t be friends because one of them will want to have sex and take that step to creating intimacy. If you haven’t seen this movie, then perhaps you have heard someone else say this same thing or something like it? Well, I am here to tell you to let this belief go. As with all beliefs, if you really think about it and agree with it, then your actions and reactions may be a certain way because of the belief you hold within you. If you feel this way, that men and women can’t be friends, then you may never allow yourself the chance to have wonderful relationships with those of the opposite sex for fear that one of you may desire to be intimate. Why place this type of expectation and restriction on your experience within relationships?
Perhaps some of the feelings with this belief have unconsciously seeped their way into our system as we were growing up, and much of what happens when we grow up is to undo a lot of the beliefs we developed over the years that no longer serve us. So what do you think may be causing us to feel like taking an intimate step in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex? There may be a lot of things: we may want to feel physically close and connected with another being, perhaps the feeling of being so connected and having things in common with someone may create feelings of wanting to establish a relationship, perhaps there is a fear of being alone. We can feel connected with someone and have a lot of things in common and have a close friendship ~ there doesn’t need to be another step to take the relationship to a romantic level. Taking a relationship to a romantic and/or intimate level should be because you can truly see yourself with this other person, growing old together, growing together in all ways, being together fully as two people who are committed to similar values/goals and raise each other up in all ways.
What we believe comes true in our reality. If you believe that you will be physically alone and are constantly afraid of that, you can create that into your reality. Why would you want to do that? Release any emotions that don’t benefit you and the future you see yourself living in. Don’t feel that you need to take a relationship to another level because of any expectation you place on yourself or the other person merely because of the male and female aspect. Choose to make a relationship romantic because you truly feel it on a much more deeper and profound level.