Ok, so it isn’t a secret, we, as a collective are curious as to how relationships work, we are intrigued by the emotions, the complexities and yet, we struggle with the truth. How can we have a deep connection that lasts if we can’t be ourselves? How can we continue sharing with another if we are afraid of becoming hurt? Aren’t these feelings, the extension of fear what keep us complaining about love and running away from it? Isn’t the truth that even though we run away, deep down inside, all we desire is to be ourselves with another that we enjoy sharing with that is also being who they are, no masks, no lies, the truth.
I enjoyed the movie Crazy Stupid Love. It made me laugh to see the lengths that we can go to feel connection (on a superficial surface level) as in Ryan Gosling’s character moving from one woman to the next, as a game. It also made me feel sympathetic with Steve Carrell’s character, his heartache from parting with his “soul mate,” and how those deeper feelings for her never went away.
I noticed right from the start, how it was very obvious that there were so many stories going on within this one story (movie). All of the characters had their own perceptions of who they loved and were focused on their own emotions with what was going on in their own lives. As a result, nobody was listening to each other…they were just sharing their own stories…hence, the truth is hidden and assumptions can easily be made. The only way to break those would be to communicate clearly and listen openly…which I believe did eventually happen at the end: everyone’s truth was revealed.
Amidst all of the things that were hidden, all of the emotions not being honored, all of the assumptions made, there was a desire for deeper connection, the love that takes you away by the heartstrings, the love that keeps growing stronger through the years, the never ending quest for the “one,” the soul mate, the twin flame, a deeper love. Yes as Steve Carrell said, “when you find the one, you never give up.” This is a strong message in the movie…reveal your truth, let go of the fear, and let love in. You might not know what is going to happen in the next moment, but you are going to dive in with your eyes open and your heart open. You make a promise not to give up and to keep moving forward…the challenges we encounter in our relationships only enhance to make us stronger. Even though they may be uncomfortable when we are going through them, we move into a deeper love as a result for they offer us the chance to go within and discover what may be lurking there undercover waiting to be released. When we hide behind what isn’t true, we create separation from ourselves and each other. Truly, it is the connection that we crave, it is always the deep connection that keeps getting deeper as we grow older. It can be yours, if you choose it, and you “don’t give up.” Overall, this is a movie that brings the humor to the crazy, stupid parts of relationships so that we can move past them into the love part, after all, that’s where we truly desire to be, right?
Think about this: what if Jacob (Ryan Gosling) helped Cal (Steve Carrell) to find the self that he lost touch with instead of creating a new persona that wasn’t truly who he was? This is where I think we are shifting within our perception of how to be with and in relationships: ourselves. Movies like this one show us the humor in putting on an act where men act a certain way towards women (all of the gender roles). This is outdated…we shall continue to see this shift as we go along.