Letting Go of What Limits Our Relationships
Jul31

Letting Go of What Limits Our Relationships

By Guy Finley No relationship in life can be any more successful than what we are willing to learn about ourselves through it. The moment we turn our back on what others give us to see about ourselves, we not only walk away from what we need to see, but also from the better person we could be. . . were we only willing to learn the lesson at hand. The success of our relationships with others depends on a two-part key that unlocks our potential to love: First, we are asked to do the interior work of becoming aware of ourselves in a whole new way. Second, we must learn to welcome what this new light reveals to us about ourselves. One without the other is useless. Our responsibility is not to try and enhance ourselves through our various relationships in life, but rather to discover and realize ourselves through them. Think of the vast difference between these two pursuits. One brings endless ways in which we feel we must make painful compromises with others in order to protect what we have “gained” through them. The other way leads us to the gradual realization of an interior greatness that can neither be enslaved nor corrupted. Only our awakening can end the aching inherent in the many ways we have become falsely dependent upon others. Those who depend on others to provide them with their sense of worth are co-dependent; each must have the other to keep the illusion alive, even though by feeding this relationship they effectively separate themselves from the possibility of ever knowing their true value. Anyone we enable, we disable . . . including ourselves. And there’s only one reason any two people consent to compromise themselves in this way: neither has yet discovered the truth of who they really are. We can never enable someone else without having first disabled our own higher nature that knows better than to bargain for friendship, love–or just to feel “needed” in some way. Resentment and regret are the bitter fruit of all co-dependent relationships, because the ground out of which they grow is self-compromise disguised as caring for one another. We cannot authentically care for another until we carry within us the lighted lamp of higher self-understanding. A big part of our inner work in all of our relationships involves remembering this key idea: Whenever we are not present and properly attentive to ourselves, we may be sure the false self is busy attending to something we’ll be paying for in the days ahead. Disconcerting, yes; but there’s no denying it: there are unconscious parts of us...

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Relationships
Jul31

Relationships

To listen to my interview with Anthony Harris, go here: Share the Light and Love of You in Service to Others by Anthony Harris When I think of relationships, a couple of thoughts come to mind. First, with the right relationship, there is absolutely nothing that cannot be done. Whether the relationship involves family, friends, or colleagues, when individuals create a mutually beneficial and mutually satisfying relationship, those individuals can accomplish some amazing feats. When I think about my own personal and professional accomplishments, I could not have come close to being successful without being in a relationship with someone. Whether it was climbing an 80-foot wall or establishing a mentoring program for at-risk kids, absent the presence of someone who genuinely cared about me and valued our relationship, some important goals in my life would have gone wanting. I am firmly entrenched in the belief in that Swedish Proverb: Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. The second thought that comes to my mind about relationships is that they can be either resilient, fragile or both. Most strong relationships – the ones built on a solid foundation of trust, respect, and honesty – can amazingly withstand both the ripples and tsunamis that inevitably affect a relationship. Whether there is a minor misunderstanding or a major breach, strong relationships do not accede to the destructiveness of pettiness or succumb to the temptation to end the relationship when stress is placed upon them. Although strong relationships are inherently resilient, their strength can be diminished; and they can suffer chronic and debilitating fragility, if we take them for granted. Because relationships are organic and require the proper amount of nourishment, attention and nurturing, it becomes extremely important to resist taking them for granted. Just as a robust plant can wilt if it does not receive proper nourishment, attention and nurturing, so can relationships. As humans, we frequently get caught up in the busy-ness of life, dealing with deadlines, balancing demands on our time, and otherwise dealing with the daily stressors of life. An unfortunate consequence of that busy-ness is that we can forget to nurture, nourish, and give attention to our relationships. In other words, we can take our relationships for granted and even make erroneous assumptions about them. As Robert Brault pointed out: For lack of an occasional expression of love, a relationship strong at the seams can wear thin in the middle. In my book Gifts of Moments: Being Somebody to Somebody, I recount an incident that prompted me abjure assumptions and instead, reach out to loved ones in an effort to nurture and...

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Share the Light and Love of You in Service to Others

Have you had a Moment in Your Life which Instilled Within You a Desire to Offer Help and Love to Another? I was joined by Anthony Harris, a Professor of Education at Mercer University, in the Tift College of Education, on the Atlanta (Georgia) campus and Author of Gifts of Moments: Being Somebody to Somebody. This book is a series of stories that illustrates the importance of using our God-given gifts of moments in the most beneficial manner possible, serving others and not only the self. Join us as we share the stories and moments within the book to delve deeper into the give and take aspects of life. As we receive, we desire to give and as we give, we naturally receive. To purchase Anthony’s book, Gifts of Moments: Being Somebody to Somebody Listen to internet radio with Be You To Fullest on Blog Talk...

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Touch the Sky
Jul25

Touch the Sky

“We never know how high we are ‘Till we are asked to rise And then if we are true to plan Our statures touch the skies. ~Emily...

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Let the Tug of War Cease
Jul24

Let the Tug of War Cease

Q. What does push pull mean exactly when describing twins I am not sure if I understand that term? A. When you think of push pull, envision a tug of war – one person on each side of the rope, pulling the opposite way. Well, many of you know that when you meet and interact with your twin, it is like looking at yourself in the mirror (all the pieces of who you are – what you can consider “good” or bad” come out to the surface, exposed) and no matter how hard you try, you can’t get away from the truth of your essence, nor can you hide your true presence from your twin. This is the battle between separation and union, from loving your self or rejecting your self, battling the ego and the Spirit, the mind and heart. Yet when you come into union consciousness, you see that there is no “good” or “bad” but that all is one, you don’t discriminate or hate, you no longer choose to battle, you flow with what is and know that what is IS in alignment with your heart, that there is a natural order to things…and when you feel that you are no longer resisting seeing, feeling, observing ALL of what make you YOU, and you stop blaming others but taking responsibility for what you do not like, you start to become your WHOLE self – the dark and the light so to speak and LOVE them ALL. The push pull is the resistance to loving ALL of who you are – this is the process that gets deeper if you allow it, if you stop resisting it, when you become aware and encounter your twin...

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