Transitioning Out of a Soul Mate Relationship

Q When you feel you are transitioning out of a soul relationship… What if you are married to your soul mate and he or she does not want to end the current relationship? Should you stay in the marriage? How should you approach this? A You may have heard this before but the best thing to do is to listen to your heart and what feels true and right for you. Sometimes, we can be quick to end a relationship when we are challenged rather than going through the roller coaster ride of emotions as we release the ego and really open to hearing the other person’s perspective as they share their feelings, needs, etc. It sounds like you are concerned about what his desires are for your relationship, meaning that you may stay in the relationship because of that, and I would say that if you are also feeling this way, then stay in the relationship and do the best you can to work it out. The best thing when there are challenges that come up in a relationship is to have open, healthy communication. What I mean by that is allowing the other person to express what he is feeling without interruption and without judgment, even and especially if you don’t agree. Then you can express your own feelings in a non attacking manner. I recommend to my clients to say, “I feel,” a lot because it places the responsibility on you and not accusing the other person of anything, but just openly expressing how you both feel. The other thing is to know that nothing the other person says is personal against you. We react and interact in relationship with others from our previous experiences, our beliefs, behavior patterns, etc, so how we choose to be in any situation is from what we know. Pay attention to what your heart is telling you, is this question coming from your inner voice confirming to you that you feel this transition occurring? Place yourself in the emotions you would feel if you were not in this relationship anymore, how do you feel? Imagine yourself resolving things and staying in this relationship, how do you feel? Is it your feelings that are telling you this or is it your soul mates or is others opinions? You are the one that is in this experience and not those who are around you, so it is best that you follow what you deeply know in your heart. Let it steer you…if you decide to transition out of this relationship, I would recommend still having open and healthy communication which will make...

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Being Happy Requires Self Awareness, Releasing Assumptions, and not Taking Things Personally
Oct05

Being Happy Requires Self Awareness, Releasing Assumptions, and not Taking Things Personally

I have many people ask me what is the problem within their relationship with their partner. First, I have to say that there is never a “problem” but rather things to work on or let go of. Don Miguel Ruiz says to never take things personally, never make assumptions, and only be responsible for your half of a relationship. I am going to explain these in some detail here for you. Nothing that anyone you are choosing to have a relationship with ever does anything deliberately against you. That person is only acting and reacting because of her own life experiences as well as the ideas that she has agreed to believe throughout her experiences. SO, what happens then when someone starts snapping at us because they are feeling not so pleasant with the emotions that may creep up on them in the moment? Has this happened to you? How did you feel? What happens often in this scenario is that the other person starts taking the way that their lover is acting as personal and all these unpleasant thoughts are brought to their mind, which in turn creates unpleasant feelings, which can then create a defensive action. This defensive action most often than not creates another action on the part of the lover because now he feels a need to defend himself. This could go on and on, like ping pong, until one or both people stop it. How can you stop it? Very easily, however it requires you to be self aware, and other than communication being an important part of a healthy relationship, self awareness is the first step that aids within communication. What does being self aware mean? Well, let’s go back to the above scenario and expound on it. Let me give you an exact example that you can consider. Your partner is washing dishes but he doesn’t enjoy the task and it can seem a lot like work for him. He starts snapping, not at you, just snapping in general. He says, “I hate washing dishes, maybe I’ll just get some dishwashing liquid to start using the dishwasher.” In the middle of washing, he just turns the water off, still in a state of frustration with the whole thing. Now, you have options on how you can choose to react (because your reactions and actions are always a choice). You can start taking his words personally in that he is accusing you of not washing the dishes enough and say, “why are you snapping at me? I wash the dishes too,” OR you could choose to let his emotions be released in the...

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Communication to Remain in the Space of Love

Have you found yourself getting frustrated when communicating or not communicating with your partner? Do you find it hard to remain in the place of love when this happens? This show will help you recognize the voice of the ego within you, and how to let it go so you can always feel and see your relationship through the eyes of unconditional...

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