Marriage: Your Presence is Your Present to Each Other

I was browsing through YouTube videos a few nights ago and came across a couple that sparked something inside which I have felt guided to share with you. Usually, when I get a strong feeling, I tend to sit with it to see what is brewing within so I can know how to communicate with words to share with others. I believe that all we experience offers us continuous opportunities to learn about ourselves and share the insights that come with each other, therefore enhancing life for us all.

Do I have your curiosity peaked now? 😉 It all started with the now famous video of the lady texting and falling into the water fountain in the Berkshire Mall. I was intrigued by this as I have been for a while now with the complete immersion in cell phones/texting/always being available for others, to the point of disconnecting us from our own essence, from being aware of all that is surrounding us in the moment. I even have a section in my book, You Find Your Soul Mate When You Let Go of Searching, about this very thing.

After watching this video, I did a search on texting and found a couple videos of people who were texting during their wedding ceremony. One of the videos showed the groom interrupting the one who was marrying them just as they were about to be pronounced husband and wife. He then proceeded to pull out his cell phone and gave his wife’s cell phone to her so that they could both text/status update, something like this. Then he put the phones away and told the man he could continue. The only thing I found funny in this video was the man who was marrying them made jokes about those on Twitter and Facebook now know they are married, status update and all.

Another video showed a woman taking out her cell phone, which she had in the front of her wedding dress, to text as the man who was marrying them discussed their relationship, “abiding in genuine love.” What I don’t find amusing in these videos is the lack of presence and the disconnection from personal connection as well as interaction. Have you ever heard someone, perhaps a child, mention that they are “bored” because they aren’t doing something? This is a serious problem if we are not feeling ourselves or teaching our young ones the importance of being present and how the present is a gift that we have, each moment offering SO much.

We are shifting out of many old ways of being, loving and interacting in relationships, which is good. However it is important to notice what is still going on so we can transition out of those behaviors as well. We used to look for a partner that we could do things with, that enjoyed what we enjoy, someone we could spend time with merely to not be bored but now we know that when we join with someone whose essence is similar to our own, all of who we are merges together perfectly and the time together is spent being ourselves together. Even doing nothing together is amazing and boredom doesn’t even exist. We used to get into a relationship looking for that person to make us happy but now we are realizing that our happiness comes from within us.

The ultimate present you can give yourself and another is your PRESENCE. When you enter into a sanctuary of deep soul filled intimacy in the form of marriage, giving of yourself, your presence to your partner is the exchange and promise you both make. If you can’t be present at your own joining of hearts, can you ever fully be present in any other moment with each other? How about with yourself? I recall going to the gym during the time I wrote my book, You Find Your Soul Mate When You Let Go of Searching, and I noticed then that everyone who was on the treadmill near me was on their cell phone while exercising, either talking or texting. I was surprised because exercising is something you intimately do with yourself, and if you can’t be by yourself and be ok with that, without needing to be connected to another, can you say you are truly happy? Doing this has become a habit for many, such as the lady who pulled her cell phone out of her wedding dress. Perhaps she noticed she was bored OR felt the vibration from her phone to notify her that someone was trying to get ahold of her. Remember when we didn’t have the cell phone or computer? What did we do? We played with our friends. We were present with each other, laughing, being, interacting together, creating in each moment. We do not have to be available for everyone in every moment … remember when you were away from your home and had an answering machine that would record messages so you could return them when you got back if you desired to?

Believe me, I feel that technology and the amazing power we have now to be instantly connected to each other via phones, computers and so much more is great for connecting us to each other further than we already are connected. However, there needs to be balance. If we can’t connect to ourselves or those whom are closest to us without such devices, it borders on being an addiction, and that is not healthy. This will take us away from ever fully living, loving or allowing ourselves the many opportunities for growth we are given through our experiences and relationships.

This Valentine’s Day and EVERY day, the best present you can give to yourself and/or to your partner is your PRESENCE. Let go of anything that takes you away from fully being in the moment and you will be amazed at what happens, how liberated you will feel.

4 comments on “Marriage: Your Presence is Your Present to Each Other
  1. Louise says:

    Wow this is just so true. I must remember to keep presence in front of all of my relationships. Yes this is just great. Thank you.

  2. Russell says:

    As a technologist, I could not agree more. – R

  3. Great article. I try the 90 sec rule . Three times per day I devote 90 sec to just listening uninterrupted to what my wife has to say. It works wonders. Of course you can longer than 90 secs.

  4. It’s amazing how just doing the little things really makes the biggest differences in life, especially when it comes to our relationships. It goes back to the old treating people the way you would like them to treat you, and we all want people to be present when we are talking with them.

    Thanks for the post!

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