Merging from Separation Mentality Into Union Consciousness
It is time for me to bring more awareness to the concept of releasing separation so that we can fully know and experience union in all ways, always, in each moment, in each relationship. Have you heard that in order for you to attract the ideal mate (your soul mate, your twin flame) to you, you need to be single, physically not in relationship with another person? Well, I am here to tell you that this is not so. It is absolutely ok, and very healthy for you to be in relationship with a soul mate and call to you in physical form another higher soul mate or your twin flame.
Let me explain this a little bit. In order for a twin flame relationship to exist, and to remain for the long term, there needs to be the highest vibration of unconditional love for yourself, for your twin, and for anyone else that is involved. SO, if you or your twin is in physical relationship with another, and you come in contact with them, know that there is a process for this transition to occur in order for you both to be in relationship with one another. In order for twin flames to come together, there has to be such deep, unconditional love. There cannot exist jealousy, anger, envy, bitterness. Know that you are never separated from your twin. If you are not in physical relationship right now, please know that you are always connecting and communicating through your heart, your soul, your spirit, in dreams, through your thoughts and emotions. As with any transition, there are layers of growth and easing into the next step, which is necessary for the next steps to completely unfold.
The only way for your twin flame to leave another person that they are in relationship with to merge with you is that there is unconditional love and understanding from you toward your twin, toward the person that your twin is in relationship with. See how this does not take away the love but adds to the love between everyone, creating a circle of increasing the love vibration, as this is what twin flame love is meant to do. Everyone is affected by the high frequency of energy that this love combination creates.
Separation mentality creates the belief that in order for someone to be in union with us, there needs to be a separation from another that they are sharing love and intimacy with. Union consciousness understands that union is always present (we are all connected) and therefore knows that there is a process of transition which occurs step by step, for the benefit of the growth of all the individual souls involved, which ultimately enhances the growth of everyone.
You or your twin do not have to be “single” and not sharing love with another in physical partnership in order for you to come together in love. When you release the beliefs, emotions, behavior patterns that are based in separation, then you are on the path of fully welcoming in union.
There is more on this topic here: Merging From Separation Mentality into Unity Consciousness Continued
I read a similar post from you about this topic and I found this hard to cope with then. Because my twin is in a relationship and I am not. I always wanted to make myself available for her. Or so.
But more and more I am beginning to understand what you mean.
Thanks for this insight, Gabriella…
You are so welcome Ingo. Isn’t it amazing how when we can open the eyes of our heart and soul so deeply and look from that space instead of from the mind, how we can see what we couldn’t fully see or understand before? Seeing from the eyes of Spirit rather than the mind/ego defies what could be considered the “norm,” or what is accepted or even possible…in the eyes of spirit, nothing is impossible. Love is totally unconditional love through the eyes of spirit, with no limitations, expectations, assumptions, or exclusions…love always is and the love that your twin is sharing with another in physical relationship at any given time is being also sent to you and shared with you. You are not separated from your twin as you are not separated from me, the one that your twin is loving, nor anyone, for the truth in spirit is that separation is truly an illusion. Re-union = remembering that union already exists and that separation IS an illusion…to feel this, believe this, know this and be at peace from this space…puts in motion that merging of all types of unity with your twin flame.
A friend of mine opened my eyes today who actually happens to be a not-reunited twin also.
She said, Ingo, because of your twin, you are pushing away EVERY other woman who shows an romantic interest in you .
Make a step and go out and look for a romantic relationship with a woman you like. Then everything else will fall into place sooner or later…
This resistance inside me might be the reason for that, that the reunion between us – who am I so desperate long for – has not happened yet.
What an interesting day today.
On days like this I know my conscience grows.
I love those days 🙂
You bring out such a relevant point here! I have had my own share of feeling like I wanted to “hold out” for my twin and therefore denying myself the love that I can receive, give and grow from in the present moment. It was a process to come to the space of this balance: the balance of being in the moment knowing what is coming, yet allowing yourself to be fully present in the moment with the faith that the universe will guide you to the next step at the perfect time. Know that just as your twin shares love with another in physical relationship and you do also, you are all sharing the love with everyone, can you see that? As you open up more fully to love, you pave the way for reunion. In a way it is preparation. Cheers to growth! By the way, your friend is a wise woman…I would just add not to step into just anyone who shows an interest in being more intimately with you, but choose one who is in alignment with you…don’t go looking for someone, but be open to the possibility and let your intuition guide you.
The key word is alignment here. But I haven´t met another woman in years who was in alignment with me except for my twin.
Might be due to my resistance, who knows?
But I will open up now and let myself guide by the universe. And then we´ll see if there are possibilities.
BTW; I saw them together last year and I was not jealous at all. I was absolutely astonished about me at that time…
There is an undeniable longing to return to or remember the the state of oneness with all that is. I think many of us have chosen to go through the twin flame experiences, no matter how heart rending, in order to walk the path back to knowing our magnificence. What better way than to see yourself perfectly mirrored in resonance with another that you love so deeply and completely? Recognizing how much you love your twin flame reminds you that you are a completely loved and loving being.
Ingo, I trust that you will find the source of your resistance. I can only speak for the source of my own resistance, which was a belief that my twin and I had, in some sense, abandoned one another. This is an easy 3D mistake to make because both of us are married to other people. After all, if we are perfect god-mates, why have we found love with other people? Why are we not together in all ways? Why are we not together in the physical world? The belief in separation is agonizing. It is this belief, which is like a bad dream, that keeps us apart (in our minds only) from our dearest love. It can feel like a catch-22 situation. How do you stop believing in separation in order to reunite when you can only reunite as you stop believing in separation? Trust.
Your awareness of the twin flame connection and relationship is amazing and I want to honor you for what you have shared, as well as the journey that you and your twin’s soul chose this time around. If you look at it from the eyes of the soul, then you can see how truly perfect it is, with the opportunities to grow deeper in unconditional love and the realization that there really is no separation. On separation you stated, “It is this belief, which is like a bad dream, that keeps us apart (in our minds only) from our dearest love. It can feel like a catch-22 situation. How do you stop believing in separation in order to reunite when you can only reunite as you stop believing in separation? Trust.” Yes, this is the process, to constantly keep reconnecting to the truth that you are not separated from your twin for your love is within and limitless beyond these physical bodies…and that it is in knowing this, feeling this, believing this deeply, trusting that each step leads you closer to merging with each other in all ways, that we find comfort.
Thank you for sharing your love and your journey.
I am a twin flame reciepient and the “runner” and im back now close to my twin..all this talk with being with other people when you are seperated IMHO is hogwash…If you truly feel true love at a soul level how on earth can that be justified as physical love when the physical part is just lust..its a total cop out..when you truly love someone there is NO desire to be with anyone else physically, mentally,or emotionally..we are supposed to walk this world back to love..not be tempted by sins of the flesh isnt that what got this whole world in such a mess in the garden to begin with
Thank you for sharing and responding! Yes, we are supposed to walk the world back to love, unconditional love. Let me explain what I teach and what has been given to me from Spirit regarding this: please go here to read my response: Merging from Separation Mentality into Union Consciousness Continued
I agree with certain points made in your post Gabriella but unfortunately this kind of info in no way helps me in my situation. The post actually brought me to tears. I really cant cope with seeing my twin flame with someone else and on a logical level I really dont know why as I have never been jealous by nature. But the mere thought of them just literally makes me ill. My whole adult life so far Ive tried dating other people and its either been very short lived or not worked out from the get go. Even if I have ‘interest’ in another man, Ive had complaints of no chemistry/affection directed at me. And when its not that, its my not being able to stand the feeling of being around another man to even go through with dating even if I like the person. Its really hard to explain and have it make sense for someone who doesnt get that feeling but to me dating feels like two opposite magnets next to each other, literally. For instance, I NEVER drink alcohol and I can think of two occasions were Ive drunk myself stupid just to override that feeling and be able to go through with a date and have another person in my space but I dont have this problem if its not a date and its just friends going out. As long as its platonic, theres no problem. I dont understand why Im this way but he has no problem dating other people? I think this is part of whats really torturing me, the fact that I just dont understand my situation and what lesson I should be learning from this? Its like constantly being reminded that I am alone in the human sense. Yes, I know we are all connected in spirit and as much as I like feeling his energy around me, humans are social creatures and I still feel painfully alone. I really cant help that. I just do. If there are any words of wisdom you can offer on why you may think this situation is so, Id really appreciate you posting a reply?
I found this interesting because I believe I have found my soul mate and my twin flame in my two husbands. I was married to my soul mate for many years then met my twin flame who was single. All three of us were friends. When my husband passed away, eventually my twin flame became my new husband. I was fortunate enough to be able to experience being with both of them (not at the same time!) without hurting anyone. I can see from the above comments that this often brings a lot of pain to several parties.
As human beings, we desire to feel connected not only in our hearts with another but also physically, and this never goes away (as touch is truly healing), yet as spiritual beings, we long for more than just the physical touch. When we meet our twin flames, we establish a deeper awareness of this connection and desire, ultimately moving us past the mere dating to be with someone in the physical sense, but rather to merge all of who we are with another that mirrors our own essence, which of course the twin flame is this clearest mirror. However, free will is never taken away, we, as well as our twins need to choose to come together for the twin flame journey/relationship/reunion is so much more than just the love relationship, for it is about service and serving love. Our relationships/interactions offer us multiple opportunities to become clear as to what we choose to experience in partnership…and sometimes, you, or your twin may need more of these such experiences to move into fully choosing the twin flame union. During this time, being the one who would choose to merge with your twin in all ways, is moving ever deeper in the vibration of unconditional love, allowing your twin to choose what he will, knowing that there is always still love there for you, and that him not choosing the relationship at this point is not personal against you. I know this is easier said than felt, but it is the truth…sometimes it is only through “separation” that we can feel the connection with our twin beyond our bodies. We are always called to recognize that we have a deeper connection/communication/love than the mere physical bodies can share…feel your love in dreams, thoughts, emotions…and cultivate this. If you feel that you don’t desire to date anyone right now, honor that. You don’t have to…you can strengthen the relationship you have with yourself, which ultimately and naturally strengthens the one you have with your twin for you are so deeply a part of each other. Know that whatever love your twin is sharing in IS not separate from you. Again, I know that this can be easier said than felt but it is the truth…when you move into seeing from the eyes of your Spirit, you will see this.
Sending you love! I’m available for coaching or readings if you ever wanted to share in more intimate detail.
Luna, I agree with you completely. Guiding someone to have a romantic relationship after meeting your twin flame is promoting Lust not Divine Love. When you are in a relationship just for romance you become attached to that person and it becomes very hard to break free. Why promote it?? Most relationships on earth are Karmic attachments that cause pain. Yes, I know it’s for our growth blah, blah, blah, but I know that God does not have to use pain and suffering to awaken his children. People choose that!!!!!!!
Just want to clarify: I am not promoting to people to have another relationship after meeting and becoming aware of their twin, unless they feel a strong connection with a deep soul mate and are guided to connect in relationship. We have many soul mates and one twin flame. Our soul mates help us pave the way towards twin flame reunion, for there may be other things that one needs to heal and clear before fully welcoming in the twin flame, knowing that the love you share with a soul mate and the healing that occurs in any relationship is also being sent to the twin (whether or not they are in a relationship with another) and this helps smooth the way for reunion. In order for twins to come together physically and in all ways, they both need to be healed of their individual karma collected from previous lifetimes as well as this one, and part of that is to release the idea, behaviors, emotions of “separation.” Jealousy is a feeling that comes from believing in separation. This will be discussed in more detail in my second book which will is due out in 2012.
One more note: our relationships can cause us pain if we allow it to…sometimes we feel uncomfortable when relationships bring up our wounds but the reason why we have relationships is to be aware of the wound that is coming to our awareness so that we can heal it. Our soul mates help us to do this…and the higher we rise on the ladder of love, the more respectful and loving our relationships will be. We don’t have to choose pain…and you are never alone. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for that response!!!! I agree. I hope that more and more people will understand that the struggles that we sometimes go through are really for us to to be aware of our own ego defects. This will then set us on the path of self correction. I know that we can ask our Higher selves to reveal to us our mistakes and how to prevent them ahead of time before we get into these karmic relationships. If you still yourself long enough, you’ll be surprised what comes up. Just ask for the Divine plan for every part of your life, stay unattached and soon your life will take the shape of what it was supposed to be. The initial stages in a romantic relationship can be deceiving. Most people hide who they truly are. Hard to follow an intuitive feeling when someone is not being honest. Your mind then plays tricks… My advice: Be true to yourself, Listen to that small intuitive voice that NEVER lies and then watch how you will start to attract persons,places,conditions and things that truly enhance your life… Again, Thank you Gabriella for the wonderful service that you are offering to life!!!!!!!
Lise, that is so heartwarming to hear that you were able to share your life with your twin flame without hurting anyone along the way. That doesnt happen very often.
This really makes sense. It’s true that you can’t merge with your twin flame if he cannot feel the same way to you. “You or your twin does not have to be “single” and not sharing love with another in physical partnership in order for you to come together in love. When you release the beliefs, emotions, behavior patterns that are based in separation, then you are on the path of fully welcoming in union”, this changed my beliefs. Unconditional love says it all.
Thank you Gabriella for your kind words…they help a lot….
One of my first dreams after meeting my TF in flesh, was one of his close friends telling me that He (my TF) was my husband but he needs to fix things with seven persons, before we get together, I guess. I don’t know the meaning of the seven persons, but for me it is clear that he will go into relationships with other people, and probably, not with me in this life time, who knows. The time I was around him, I could see some young ladies showing intereste on him. I did not feel any jelousy about it, Anyway, I’m in a relationship which is in transition, I see my husband as a good friend. I know the happiness of having a child, and I would like for my TF to have this experience of being father. I just wish he find a good partner. My husband made me cry a lot in the past, he never love me; probably he only married me because he could not be with his first wife and being along was hard for him. It was painful to find out this before, but after meeting my TF all that pain was gone. I love my TF inconditional, and I believe he does too. Just being together is so intense that maybe it is the reason we both run away from one another.
that are going through the pain. I met my TF two years back. He came on so strong that I was scared. It was end of Jan ’10, a night of full moon when I met him. I have never had a date like that. We completely surrendered to each other. Passion was unbelievable. He told me he loved me in the morning, and I freaked out. I was just coming out of a very painful relationship that had completely depleted me. I had asked god for true love. I dreamt of him 3 months before I actually met him on the blind date. We met every weekend after that for the next five months. Passion was incredible. He did not hold back his love. I took my time to acknowledge it. But when I told him I loved him six months later, he was in tears. Somehow I still didn’t trust him. He proved I was correct by first cheating on me, then bragging about it, then trying to make up for it. I cheated on him as well, if that can be called cheating, because we were temporarily separated. He tried to work it out with me, but I knew our cultural differences are too great. I believe in traditional union, his religion allows polygamy. Also, we are from countries that are in war. We haven’t been in contact for last 10 months. I just found out that he has gotten married 3 months back to a girl who seems to be a perfect match for him. Also, that he has been involved in some crimes before I met him. My heart is broken, when I thought that it cannot break any more. I know not being with him is probably the best thing I have done. But I am in so much pain. I am just trying to focus on myself. I have also started communicating with him telepathically recently, and it is very confusing. I feel I am losing my mind. We are fighting half the time, and complaining and loving half the time. I don’t know How I can be with him ever. I am realizing about unconditional love, because I cannot do anything else. If I hate him, I feel like I can’t breathe and I am dying. My heart goes out to anyone who is experiencing this phase. It is like a beautiful poison. Hope we all be healed and will find peace somewhere down the road.
luna you feel just like me, i have gotten myself to a good place in all this, really good considering, and happy with life, passions, work etc, i can banter with guys but the thought of dating someone and having a relationship with someone not my twin feels like stepping backwards vibrationally there is just no desire no pull from my soul it’s empty – would make me feel ill. To be honest even the bantering i constantly sit thinking what lesson am i learning here? thats the only reason i even do it to think what i am learning in the way I communicate! How sad is that, God really needs to blow me away if he wants me to do that – seriously so. I think my twin has casually dated in seperation it makes me feel ill like you said, i am not jealous nor angry nor bitter i understand the lessons and how tough the connection is but it does make me feel ill at the thought it’s such a sacred bond.
and yes isn’t the lesson to not ”need’ another human for happiness and to get to a point you can be happy and vibrating highly enough for a tf alone, not having to get into vibrationally lower relationships to keep you company? we don’t have to grow we only have to realise who we are.
My twin flame and I have recently separated. This is hard enough, but he has started a new relationship and this is like a double blow. I have read about the spiritual side of the separation phase, but it is very hard. Sometimes I wonder when the challenges I have faced in life will ease up, as already the 10 months with the flame has gotten to my core…and now more. I am fed up of learning lessons all the time and just want to get on with having a deep and fulfilling family life. I am learning all the time to love myself, but sometimes I just want for a cuppa and a hug. I have managed to transform a lot of pain and neglect in my life into love, but it seems that I am being pushed harder spiritually. It is like going to the gym and really learning how to flex my spiritual muscles. I fight the battle within. Here are some of the things I tell myself to empower the situation when I am at breaking point….
Whether he ever comes back is beyond my control.
The relationship needed to break as it was completely imbalanced. It is no real surprise that he can find another love, as he is an expert at taking and getting things for himself, whereas I am a giver. He has been surrounded by loving female family members all his life who have done everything for him. Inside, he expects others to love him, regardless of whether he mistreats them. Me, I did not get much love early on and have tried to heal this for years. I have overcompensated by loving people too much, even if I do not get much back, because I have wanted to be loved. crazy!! I need to be more like him, value self and have a certain expectation that others can love me.
I take responsibility that I wanted the separation in the first place because of the seriously bad way I was being treated. I had tried everything to make it work. But in the end, had to get out. He was a runner, but finally it was me who chose to get out. Yet at same time holding a deep wish that things could work out. We both wanted to get married, we were like magnets, yet we still could not succeed in being together. I let it go, but with the deep hope of an improved relationship with him. It takes two for a relationship to work, but he was not ready to properly committ to our love. I could see that…yet it is very hard.
I cry at the loss of what could have been. But each time I now remind myself that at this point in time, we are not ready, so it is best.
I say to myself that God has other good plans for me
I strengthen my connection to Source and my soul, so that I can feel love inside me, generated by myself.
He was not good enough for me. I wanted someone to respect me, not abuse my love and treat me like a doormat. He merely magnified what has been going on in my life, so I have learned a lot from this. This tough experience has toughened me up.
I loved him far more than I loved myself and put up with too much pain, before I was able to walk away. The mistake of loving too much. Now I learn more to love myself first.
I cannot even describe the state of numbness, desperation, grief and loss I have been in recently. I love him very much….and let go. But it is the battle within, a battle to change this into something positive. But I cry and cry too.
Gabriella – I can relate with your post/responses. I have been on and off with my twin flame for almost 9 years now and it has been a very challenging journey but one that we both cannot loet go of. He is in a long term committed marriage and just cannot walk away without hurting everyone involved. But yet, he & I keep growing deeper and deeper from the unconditional love that we have for one another. The longer that time marches on, the more at one I do feel him, even when we’re not connected physically. I wouldn’t trade this journey for anything. It’s what my soul close to do this time around. But I would say, it’s not for the faint at heart. Many, many tears are shed and lots of inner work that needs to be done. Again, thanks for posting this. I can resonate with all of it.