September 15, 2011
Open up, close down, open up, close down because the openness I want to share is with you, with you my love in all ways…though you know, I can’t ever fully close down to others because I am so much of an open person, and isn’t our love made stronger by the love we share with others? However, when I do open up my heart to encompass those present beside me right now, there is a bit of pain that seeps through my eyes, washing my cheeks with the wetness of the illusion of separateness from you, from the ability to bask in the sweetness of our love…and there it goes again, the separation edging its way through the knowing and choosing of union, merging into frustration of the capacity of separation’s fingernails tickling my skin, scratching my skin, moving my focus upon it, when I know, yes, I KNOW deep within me that it is foggy, and nonexistent within my heart as it holds you in every moment.
The pain within your throat transferred its feelings inside of me and I had pain in my throat before I knew you had such pain…yes, we are connected beyond these mere physical body forms. We know this and the universe gives us signs upon signs of clarification that this is so. We are aware…and we acknowledge them as they push us closer and closer together. Be you love, and express you as you are meant to, releasing control of others, for it is control that hinders our growth and our intensity for loving, which is our promise…to love, and to love deeply all that is, all that we are as we are all connected. We are born again in the ways we connect with others, shining our light into their lives as their light touches our own, making both brighter, following a brighter way for sure. Yet, I am tired, of holding the hands of those that reach out in need without you by my side, I am tired of smiling the love from within me to those before me without you to share in this love directly…ah, perhaps this has grown stronger because I know and this knowing grows stronger that we promised to do this touching work, this healing, this creating, this loving path together, hand in hand, literally and figuratively.
Though no matter what happens tomorrow, I know that I will continue to open, and open without closing, as I follow my heart’s path as it brings me ever closer to holding you love, as I know with each step, my heart holds you near and nearer to the heaven we are creating. How I anticipate looking at Heaven’s beauty with you standing right beside me, echoing a rhythm of beats inside your chest I can hear so softly, reminding me of the depth of our love that has always been in each moment of this lifetime and beyond.
Until that very moment my beloved, feel my love in the wind around you, feel my love in everything surrounding you, notice my light in the eyes of everyone beside you, know that you know, as I know you know, that I can’t breathe without you and I don’t, I can’t live without you and I won’t…I am running, we are running straight to each other, as within each other is home, yet with each other in all ways home is fully found and experienced. This, I choose, I have chosen …