Q. My twin soul has 3 children with different women. We met on the internet after he moved to CPT to find himself spiritually. We fell in love and connected spiritually, heart and soul. I’m further along the path spiritually and he is still ‘battling his demons’. He obviously has an issue with sex and women. And Alcohol. Dilemma: I wanted to have a family with him and he with me but It would be a bad choice it seems. I don’t know how far he’s prepared to ‘work’ in order to heal and I think it would be irresponsible of me to bring another child into this scenario. Thing is I don’t think I will ever want another man besides him. And I have such immense compassion for him, I want to be there for him. But would that mean sacrificing having a family? I’m 33.I don’t know how to be in the moment with this.
A. Twin souls are the mirror image for each other…and if one twin is “battling demons,” then you can guarantee that there are some demons of your own that you are called to take a look at, to allow to heal by loving them into the light. You can’t go into the space of judging what he is doing, where you feel he is at, and determining what is best for him yet also be in the space of unconditional love with yourself and him (as these do go hand in hand). Unconditional love accepts exactly what is, what is being chosen or acted (or not acted upon) without determining what is the best course of action to show that healing is taking place.
I can understand wanting to bring a child into this world, as it is one of the reasons we choose to love and unite with others, creating an extension of that love. Yet, it is not the path for everyone. I wonder, where is that desire coming from? We are now moving from the old ways of relationships and loving into the new way…meaning that we are asked to come from the space of the heart with unconditional love rather than the mind with rationalizing and planning everything. The heart goes with the flow and allows feelings, guidance to bring you to the next moment in the “future,” yet the mind starts to make plans for that future. In other words, it used to be common and the “norm,” to get an education, move further into adulthood, get a secure job, find a partner, get married, have kids. Yet the flow naturally will bring you into such things if you are present in the moment…if you desire to truly experience them…I was asking you where the desire to have a child is coming from…is it coming from your heart or is it coming from the place of tradition/the mind? Do you also know that people have been having children well into their 40’s? When we attach to time frames, age, etc, we are then placing expectations/limitations/attachments onto our experience, and what this does is stop us from being able to truly be in the space of unconditional love with ourselves and our twins as well as being in the moment. We can’t be in the moment if we are wondering how tomorrow will turn out, in the fear that what we desire may not happen. There is a constant state of surrender that this journey does require us to hold…
You can be there for your twin in whatever ways you are guided in each moment, but also know that you are always there even when your physical body is not and even if you are not in direct contact as this love exists beyond this lifetime and the physical human experience. I like to say “hold on and let go.” What I mean by this is to hold onto the love for you can’t release it, but let go of your focus from the mind of trying to determine what you need to do in this present moment…let your heart and the guidance of the universe bring you to the next moment as it supports you.
Know that as you delve deeper into your own psyche, figuring out what is there for you to heal, to love, what passions are calling to be brought out into your life, you are sending these realizations, observations and deeper love to your twin, as you are not separate from each other…and if your path brings you into loving another person ( a soul mate) along the way, that love as you grow deeper within it, is being shared with your twin. The best thing that you can do at this point is determine what excites you, who you are, and bring that into your life experience more fully in each moment…find the happiness that is here for you to embrace in this now moment. You are not alone.