I had a layered conversation the other evening with a male friend of mine, about love and connection. There are so many thoughts that move through us when our hearts are awakened. Many past experiences come rising up to the surface, and hesitancy because maybe IT may happen all over again, whatever the IT may be. Somewhere in those thoughts and the fears, comes a drawn out action (or non action) scene from a movie, with anger, betrayal, tears and a whole lotta pain going on. You know that feeling when you are sleeping, having an intense dream, then you open your eyes and realize it was only in your consciousness? Often times, what you are afraid of, what you envision in your mind of what “could be” or “could happen” is all make believe.
When someone comes into your life, profoundly connects to your heart, pulls you deep within your soul, and the Universe surrounds you both with support, you can guarantee this is not something to be thought through, but felt within, and allowed to flow as it will. Why think of how, when, what as wow, yes, and so good are waiting for you to bask in them?
Our wounds are triggered when our hearts awaken, and intense emotions with another bring us away from the supposed control we may want to have in our lives. I find it interesting that we desire to be immersed in the heat of passion’s dance, yet when we are in the midst of it, we can block it from enveloping us because of uncertainties, insecurities…
Love invites us into the depths of who we think we are into the truth of who we really are. Do you feel you can allow all of YOU, both what you find beautiful and what you find unattractive about you to another? And if you do, will they love all of you? This is what the song, “Dark Side” is all about. https://youtu.be/H5ArpRWcGe0 Can another witness all of you and still love you? Somewhere along the journey, you may have developed a belief that you cannot be loved for those not so shiny pieces, and maybe you believed it. But the truth is, that love is about YOU loving YOURSELF through the RELATIONSHIP with another, as in this relating, you are always encountering YOU. Your wounds, your beliefs, your emotions, your patterns, your thoughts on what isn’t lovable about YOU…. Then what happens? You can close your expression of love off, you can start thinking about what you don’t find attractive about your partner (projection), you want to run away and not deal with it (not feel in it). Feelings are uncontrollable, they are wild, they are free in their flowing….this is how you ARE and how love is meant to be experienced as well as life, to be lived. It is only us that can block this beautiful flow. Why would we want to? What could happen if you encounter yourself, all of your wounds, etc. and rather than hinder your true essence, you let it all come out? You can end up loving yourself through the wounds, developing a deeper sense of self, and in so doing, feel a stronger love and gratitude for the other who is doing the same. Relationships are all about reflection, expression and creation. This is the bliss of love.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to let go of our concern for how the future of this love will unfold and build etc. And give that to the Universe while we just enjoy it, as it IS, right here and NOW? We get so worried about revealing all of who we are fearing we might feel too much, we might not be loved (by ourselves and another), that we hinder ourselves from experiencing what we have craved since our very first breath on Earth: to love and be loved, to remember ourselves through the experience of love, and all that seems like the opposite.
We try to separate the dark and light, in ourselves, in others, in our world, not remembering that both are existing in a dance together to offer us contrast and choice. This allows the truth to be seen. We have merely to embrace it. What do you choose?
How do you go about loving and being loved? It is about continuously opening your heart, trusting the journey of allowing love in and out in its natural course. Each of us, in our own ways, through our experiences along our paths have developed wounds and behaviors that are meant to protect us from getting hurt (and from truly letting love in), yet the pain is really because we desire to be loved for ALL of who we are, and to love in the way that we are able, moment to moment, which is ever expanding, as we consciously continue to break away the pieces we felt we needed to be secure in our emotional well being. We are free flowing beings at the heart and core of what makes us both divine as well as human. True love is love that allows for both people to be free in their growth of uncovering that which brings them away from keeping their heart open so that they can move ever closer together in the love that is so naturally flowing between them. This love is always present, even when our minds and defense mechanisms perceive otherwise. Recognizing those thoughts and behaviors that pull us away and allowing as well as inviting the inner journey of discovery towards what wound, belief, emotions, experiences has created such patterns and letting change happen is what creates a deeper love bond with self and another. This is a journey that I personally have always chosen and I intend to continuously do so, however uncomfortable it may feel or seem in any moment. Because I know that the reward is being more deeply loved and more profoundly able to love…through the riding of the waves is the experience of the wholeness and cleansing that the ocean provides. It offers the cleansing of anything that blocks love from flowing, invites us into the remembrance that we are whole and that everything is always in wholeness and perfection. Each step shows us this truth, if we walk with eyes, arms and hearts wide open. It may hurt to keep your heart open, but it can also hurt to try to close it. Ask yourself, do you desire to truly be Beloved, to BE LOVED and BE LOVE? If that is your authentic choice, are you willing to keep taking the journey into the depths? For that is the way towards experiencing the love you are, through you and before you. I will not hesitate to say YES, in every moment. May you also give yourself this blessed and glorious gift. It is life changing, enhancing and embracing!
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love and let it come in.” ~ Morrie Schwartz