Returning to the Light of Union

Stuck, yeah, that’s how I feel. I see you just ahead smiling, being completely, totally, you, authentic true you and I question truth, my truth that is, well not exactly, you see my truth is you, or rather us. I know me is me, you is you, but us is us…and that’s where my heart longs to be. Yes, this spiritual, “new age,” fluffy duffy stuff says that you are here with me right now even though my physical hand can’t reach out at this moment to hold your hand, nor can my eyes take in all the curves of every part of your damned beautiful sweet essence, nor can all of me merge with all of you, physically that is, though psychically, we are communicating right now, we are loving right now, we are being intimate in all ways, always, right now. Yes, I travel to the table of love, the whatever place we desire in our dreams of meeting each other to encourage, inspire, help one another to let go of the shit that blocks us from being with each other.

I am here and you are there, I am there and you are here, I feel stuck in between and I’m not sure I’m on the right raft in the right ocean, though you tell me that this is the time that you are running straight to me, you tell me that this is the hour of our destiny, you tell me that I exist in you, you tell me not to keep my love hidden away, for you desire to bask in the revelation of my expression of love for you. Oh my dear love, I am here, and I know…I know this journey requires trust, faith, and patience, ah but those friends can’t always embrace me, like…yeah, you see, it is your arms I long to sleep in. It is the melody of your laugh that I want to melt in, it is the depth of your spirit in your eyes I desire to immerse my being within, it is the softness of your gentle hands I want to feel on my skin…I…do get stuck. I feel like Bjork, as she sings, “I miss you, but I haven’t met you yet,” again. I remember the day we did meet, so clearly, you are in front of me in this moment, smiling your sweet innocent “you” smile, and as you are so naturally shining your light, I fall in love with the beauty of me I see within you. Wow…no words…can reveal my love so perfectly as it is felt within my soul. You tell me that it is in my eyes you see the sky and all you’ll ever need, and I wonder…have you seen the sky yet here as I look at you? Time is passing by…and yes we are with each other now, spiritually I know…but…your hair…your energy, so close…

Yes I know, this is the time…of our destiny. Yes, I know, this is the time… you’ll come running straight to me. Yes, I know this is the time… to reveal our love. Yes, I hear you…this is the time that time passes by and you are with me, yet…stuck, yeah, that’s how I feel, like a puppet, in between here and there, now and then, this bed and our bed, my words and our words, laughter, a constant flowing sweetness between us…I agree, that laughter is so essential to life. I used to dream as a little girl, that I would share words, share me, before bed with you and we’d be laughing together as we hold hands to drift off to serene sleep. This was before I consciously knew of your name and your face, yet I have always known and remembered the energy of you…you…you.

Ok, so maybe right now your truth expressed is my truth and what I need to do is just drink in your messages you so beautifully weaved together for me, take the glorified pep talks as you telling you telling me that the time between us is disappearing, the lines between where your form breathes and my form begins are closer…to touching…illuminations of our truth, the light in our hearts, shared with others, embracing them embracing us, embracing. As they watch the path now being laid out so clearly before us, they see the threads of our love, always there, always here, they see our hearts communicating and calling out to each other, and as they cheer us on, wanting us to free our hearts together, our reunion is happening, with each step, more awake than before. And yes, I know, you’ve told me…what I need to do now is watch for you…what I need to do now is be awake for every moment…what I need to do is keep the light on so I can see much clearer. Thank you, I may need more than just this nightlight, because I don’t want to miss one piece of your arrival my sweet…this is gonna be good…like reading a book and the suspense is heightening, and it’s coming…it’s coming, the relief as all the characters take a deep breath and let it out, knowing that the calm has come at last…yes I know, you keep telling me there’s no time and no space, no barrier that love won’t erase. Yes I know, you tell me our spirits and souls are one…and yes I know, you come to me out of my dreams across the night, take my hand…ah, my dearest, I will never let go as I hold your hand…for yes, it is true, I am not stuck, I am free when I close my eyes, and there in the shadows I see your light…it is that light I have fallen into…it is that light, I am returning.

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