Finding Balance Between Masculine and Feminine

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To listen to the interview I had with Gabriel, please click here where you are free to leave comments and questions too: The Mystery of Woman Upheld and Honored

by Gabriel Morris

What most needs to happen between men and women, masculine and feminine, is that we need to drop the power play. Men and women need to acknowledge and accept the truth of who they are, and not feel superior or inferior for the energies that they embody. We must recognize that, first, we have much more in common than we have differences, in terms of what we really seek in life: happiness, security, love, purpose, meaning, learning, spiritual illumination. At the same time, there are also some inherent differences between the basic, primal natures of masculine and feminine energies. Yet we must understand that they are both absolutely essential for life and a reflection of the fundamental energies of the universe, and that we both need each other.

With acceptance of this basic reality, there can be found true balance and resolution. But that can only happen once both drop the idea that this construct makes one superior or dominant over the other. That is the paradigm of separation vs. oneness. It’s only an issue as long as there is a fear or obsession around trying to figure out who is better than who, or who has the most power. Men and women simply have, to some extent, different sources of power. Once men and women let go of trying to compete with one another for power, but instead acknowledge the essence of who they really are…then they can start working towards a common goal of unity, rather than engaging in a struggle in which the masculine is more often on the attack and the feminine feels it necessary to defend herself.

Something analogous that comes to mind is a rather silly game that some researchers came up with, in order to conduct a study of children in different societies around the world. Imagine a checker board, but there’s only one checker piece sitting in one of the squares at the center of the board. Each person gets one move, and then they alternate. The goal is to get the piece over to your opponent’s side of the board. Whoever accomplishes this gets a piece of candy.

But think about it for a second. The game is basically rigged, so that if you play it competitively, you get nothing. But if you play it cooperatively, then you get your candy. Because if you play against each other, then what happens is you move the piece one move in one direction towards the opposite side of the board—and then the other person moves the piece right back to where it was before, since they are trying to get it over to your side of the board. It just goes back and forth forever, and nobody ever gets a piece of candy.

But if you think cooperatively, then you agree between the two of you, okay, we’re both going to move it in the same direction. So you pick a direction, you move the piece one turn at a time, and pretty soon it gets to the other side of the board and one of you gets a piece of candy. Then you start over, play the game again agreeing to go the other way, and pretty quickly the other person gets a piece of candy. And so on. You can both split the entire bowl of candy if you want. But you won’t get any of it unless you cooperate with your partner.

As long as the construct is “me vs. them”, and you can’t see your way out of that mindset to pick another way to play the game, then nobody wins. You have to trust each other, that the other person is going to return the favor and move the piece back to the other side the next time, so that you both get something out of it. If you trust each other, then the game is easy, fun and rewarding. But if you don’t, then it’s a fruitless exercise in frustration. That’s essentially the choice that men and women have before them.

What is needed is for both men and women to recognize the dynamics at play, work within them without judgment, guilt or shame, but simple acceptance that it is what it is. And then they have to come to a mutual agreement to trust one another, to be sensitive to one another, and to learn from one another. As long as men and women are playing the game of love competitively, then everyone will lose. But if played cooperatively, giving the other’s needs and desires as much importance as one’s own, then the energy will come full circle, uniting us as one. And we will all find that it is an incredibly fun, rewarding and endlessly interesting game to engage in.

Gabriel Morris is author of Kundalini and the Art of Being, a spiritual adventure story and cross-country hitchhiking travelogue; and The Mystery of Woman: A Book for Men, a compilation of essays from more than 30 authors, men and women, on the subjects of love, relationships, romance, spirituality, sexuality and much more. For more information about Gabriel Morris, visit his website at: Gabriel’s Website